


god bless america

by navigat1on



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Independence Day - Freeform, M/M, SO SORRY, Truth or Dare, sarcastic steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 14:11:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1901988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navigat1on/pseuds/navigat1on
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Steve's birthday, so the team plays Truth Or Dare. Everyone ends up humiliated, especially Steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	god bless america

**Author's Note:**

> I'll proofread this later, so please excuse the errors.
> 
> based off of this vine: http://shouldnt.tumblr.com/post/90796111021
> 
> also sorry this reads fast and i didnt add more characters, i wrote this at 3am with my battery at 10%.
> 
> enjoy.

It started out as a dare.

It was July 4th, Independence Day, as well as Steve’s birthday. A small party was thrown at the Avengers Tower - only consisting of the team, a few agents, and the small amount of friends Steve had that haven’t been dead for decades. It was only after a few drinks and several cartons of pizza for everything to go downhill.

“We should play a game,” Tony suggests loudly. A few heads turn in curiosity.

“What kind of game?” Steve says reproachfully.

“Well, considering this party resembles a twelve-year-old girl’s sleepover, how ‘bout a classic? Truth or dare?”

Steve raises his eyebrows unimpressively. Tony has dumb ideas, but he does know how to liven up a party. Steve agrees, still uncertain. But before he has the chance to think about changing his mind, Tony grabs his wrist and leads him to the sofa, plopping him down. The couch is huge, white, and circular in shape. Steve places his hand on the seat cushion and feels what must be leather. It looks brand new and expensive. Just Tony’s style.

As Tony gathers up the willing and unwilling participants, a few more people settle down around Steve. Natasha, Bruce, Coulson, Clint, and a few others join the game until the sofa is full.

“What? What’s that?” A familiar voice asks. Someone groans impatiently. Steve glances back.

Stark is standing next to Bucky at the bar, quickly giving him the run-down on how the game works. After a few moments of questions and bickering (mostly on Tony’s part), Bucky sighs and strides over in Steve’s direction, sitting down next to him and nudging him with his elbow.

“I hate parties.”

“C’mon, Buck, it’s just a bit longer. Tony knows what he’s doing - it’ll be fun.”

Bucky grunts in reply. It’s not that he doesn’t care for Steve’s birthday, it’s just that he could live without being surrounded with people he barely knows for hours. It’s only been a few weeks since he got most of his memory back, for Christ’s sakes. He ultimately decides that this is Steve’s day, and Bucky’ll do whatever Steve wants to make him happy.

Tony finally sits down, a fresh beer in hand, and starts the game.

“Okay, Cap, since it’s your birthday, I’ll let you go first,” he says.

Steve knows this game. He used to play it with Bucky back when they were kids in the 20’s. It was one of the cheapest forms of entertainment they had during those days. Steve scans the crowd of people and hums. After a moment of hard thinking, he points at Bruce.

“Banner, truth or dare?”

“Uh. Truth.”

Steve smiles and thinks carefully. He vaguely remembers the questions he used to ask Bucky in the game.

“If you were left alone on an island, what’s the one thing you would take?”

Bruce taps his chin in thought. He purses his lips and looks around.

“Probably Clint. He could hunt with his bow. And I suppose it’d be nice to have company.”

“Hell yeah it’d be nice, I’ve been practicing! We could eat all the squirrels we want,” Clint responds. The group laughs, but Clint’s not lying. He could probably hit the center of a lima bean from fifty feet away. If that lima bean was being a bitch.

“Alright, my turn to pick,” Clint says, shaking off his thoughts.

The game goes on, and it's actually a lot of fun. Natasha even gets Thor to strip on the balcony that overlooks the city, yelling something along the lines of “Puny humans, cower in the mighty wrath of Thor!” This is the most fun they’ve had together as friends. It’s not like the morbid joking they do while on a particularly dangerous mission. This was one of the few times that Steve’s felt like a normal guy since he woke up from cryogenics. 

Everyone is pretty drunk once it’s Tony’s turn again, and the dares have turned more humiliating and the truths were more embarrassing. Tony takes a look around and does a double take on Steve, laughing evilly. Dammit - just when he thought he’d be safe from more torture.

“Hey, Steve, truth or dare?”

Already accepting his fate, he sighs and resists the urge to just get up and leave. “Dare.”

Tony grins even wider. “Since it’s the fourth of July and this is totally necessary, I dare you to dress up in red, white, and blue, and in rollerskates, and skate around town.”

It takes a minute to fully comprehend the extent of the dare until Steve gasps. Bucky nearly chokes from laughter. The group talks excitedly.

“What? I can’t do that!”

“You have to, it’s a dare, and you can’t refuse, Mr. Star-Spangled-Man-With-A-Plan,” Tony says. Steve groans and covers his blush with his hands.

“Steve, it’s not that bad! He could have you doing much worse things,” Bucky says. Tony makes a noise of agreement while finishing his drink.

Natasha stands up, grinning. “I’m picking the outfit. Hold on, I’ll be back in a minute,” she says over her shoulder, grabbing her purse and running off to the elevators and from there, God knows where. Not only did Tony pick the most ridiculous dare imaginable, but now Natasha was pitching in. Although she is fashionable, he imagines her making him just wrap himself in a big American flag. For the first time ever, he prays for Fury to call with an important mission. Something that can get him away from this.

He doesn’t call. Natasha returns fifteen minutes later with a bag full of various thing in red, white, and blue.

“C’mon soldier, let’s get you dressed in something nice,” Natasha says, “by nice I mean hilarious.”

“I know.”

Natasha leads Steve into the bathroom and shuts the door. He grabs the bag from her and peers inside. She sees his expression of shock and smirks.

“Really?” He says frustratingly. 

“Sorry. Couldn’t help it.”

She doesn’t sound sorry at all. She leaves the bathroom, wishing him luck. He’s starting to agree with Bucky. Parties do suck.

///

A full ten minutes pass until Steve is heard, rolling down the hallway. His group of friends immediately stop talking and wait for the reveal. He skates into sight. The room is silent. Coulson discreetly snaps a pic. 

There’s no doubt in his mind anymore. He hates parties.

Steve is stark naked, except for a pair of (you guessed it) American flag boxers, with another flag sticking out in the back. Along with that, he’s sporting red and blue elbow-length gloves, suspenders, and black rollerblades. He itches at all the attention and feels more ridiculous than he ever could’ve imagined.

“Wow...you look great!”

All eyes widen and turn to Bucky. He shrugs, and gives Steve a thumbs up. They smile.

“You do look great - give us a twirl, Cap!” Tony says, motioning with his hand. Steve spins around expertly, his natural grace showing. Someone cat-whistles and everyone laughs. Steve joins in too, this isn’t so bad.

“And the fun’s not over yet!” Tony yells, getting up and walking towards Steve. “All you have to do now is go for a nice skate around the city, show yourself off for a bit, and then you’re done! We’ll be right behind you in a car the whole time. Whadda’ya say, Rogers? Still up for it?”

What the hell. He came this far, didn’t he? “Hell yeah.” His friends talk over each other in excitement. They get ready to go.

///

Hell no. No no no no no. After one look outside, he sees the streets full of civilians. His anxiety returns. 

“You can do this, Steve. Just have fun! We’re with you the whole time,” Bucky says reassuredly, patting his on the back. Steve nods. Just have fun. That’s all he has to do. At the last minute, Tony hands him sparklers. Thanks, Tony.

He skates out of the Tower’s garage with Tony’s black SUV in tow, heading out onto the streets. Steve sees people looking over at him and widening their eyes in recognition. Even a couple of camera phones fly out and aim at him. Steve ignores them and focuses on the job at hand. This is like a mission. With an objective to get this the hell over with. Steve nods to himself. Might as well make fun out of it.

“Just some music to get you in the right frame of mind!” he hears Tony yell from fifteen feet back. Suddenly, a popular song is blaring on the speakers, pouring out of the open windows. He knows this one, it’s by Katy Perry, right? That doesn’t matter. He stops at an intersection and spins around, making a show with the sparklers. He hears laughter in the distance.

Once the light hits green, he’s off. The sparklers burn out, so he quickly skates to the edge of the sidewalk and drops them in a trash can. Steves speeds up, past another intersection, leaning forward to gain momentum. The wind blows his hair back and cools his chest, which is about to start sweating from July’s heat. He dodges some cars and manages to stay directly in front of the SUV the whole time. At the next intersection, he moves with the beat of the song and does a little dance. Looking into the van, he sees at least five iPhones in front of grinning faces. He waves, knowing that he'll be on Youtube before midnight.

After making a quick circle around town, even taking a minute to show his flexibility with a leg in the air, Steve makes it back into the Tower. He rolls in before almost collapsing in one of Tony’s work stools and struggling to get the blades off. He hears clapping and laughs, standing up to take a bow while his audience stumbles out of the car.

“Cap, you’re the craziest motherfucker I’ve seen all year,” Clint says. “And I live with Natasha.” Steve laughs when Clint is smacked. The rest of the crowd pats him on the back and mutters similar things before heading over to the elevators, back up the Tower for a few more hours.

“That was the greatest thing I’ve ever seen,” Bucky says through his laughter, jogging up to Steve.

“Yeah? Better than the bearded lady at Coney Island?”

“Way better.”


End file.
